She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
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