Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
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