She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
