I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
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