he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Randomize
