glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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