I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
