The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
the liver wants what the liver wants
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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