singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
