His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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