I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I'm passing your future prison.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
