8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
