I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
