My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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