I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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