would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
