sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
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