Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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