Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
