me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
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