weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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