i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
