She's JV to your varsity
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
