Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
