my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
