tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
there is glitter all over my balls
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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