I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
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