what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize
