Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
