Its about making memories worth repressing
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
