who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
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