arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
i think i have herpe
just one?
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Randomize
