Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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