That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
