his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
So many bounce houses so little time
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
They have beer where we have blood.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Randomize
