honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
