Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
