If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
