i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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