It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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