I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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