ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
