so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Randomize
