I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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