Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
