I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
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