They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize