We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
He shit in the fireplace
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
