I'm lost and stupid without you.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Randomize