That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
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