You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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