3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
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