ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
