Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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