this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
