Sry I called you an 8
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
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