is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Alive.
So much puke
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Randomize
