i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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