3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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