If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
should my penis look like a turkey
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
